apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
