Christians are straight up FREAKS
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
