What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Randomize
