I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
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