You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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