I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
