Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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