I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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