its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
