and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
