i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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