I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
