do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
