I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
