taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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