Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
