It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Randomize
