xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
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