he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
ok first of all what the fuck
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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