just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
is wine microwaveable?
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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