I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
