Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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