Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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