I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
