Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Randomize
