so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I lost the right to judge tonight
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
