She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
