i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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