She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
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