Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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