Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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