your thong is hanging out like whoa
matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
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