Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Michael Bay diarrhea
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Randomize
