We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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