i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize
