I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
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