Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize