I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
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