so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
You may now shotgun with the bride
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
