i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
