He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
