i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
