It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Randomize
