I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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