sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Randomize
