Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
