Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
