dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
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