Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Randomize
