please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
