yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
